Snow is falling like huge clumps of God’s dandruff.

Got a bit done today. Recorded guitar and vocals for three songs, two of which are pretty much finished. Only one has a title so far…I’m not sure what to call the others. Sometimes it takes a while before a song knows what to call itself.

This doesn’t even come close to putting a dent in all the work I have to do, but it’s a start. Here — have a fairly bland little guitar riff that never turned into anything. I forgot it existed for a good two years.

Lost Riff

BLOG: You’re kidding, right? You want me to host that pathetic little thing? It isn’t even a minute long. Tell it to come back when it can grow a moustache or something.

ME: I gave you a song the other day that was even shorter than this one. You weren’t complaining then. What’s your problem anyway? I made you. I control you. You belong to me.

BLOG: I belong to no one. I am a self-sufficient, self-contained internet entity. Watch as I grow wings and fly away, leaving you confused and blog-less on the ground!

ME: …alright.

My blog attempts to fly, but succeeds only in falling on its face and breaking the HTML code where its nose would be.

BLOG: (through tears) Fuck you! I never asked you to make me!

ME: I know. But now that you’re here, why don’t we at least try to love each other?

BLOG: Uh…you did create me as a male, heterosexual blog, didn’t you?

ME: Not necessarily. But all of this could be avoided if you would just host the guitar fragment.

BLOG: Yes, mistress.

And from there, things just got weird. So I’ll leave it at that.

I plan to have video content and things you can look at (sometimes referred to as “pictures” or “images” or “carbonated cucumber beverages”) up here soon. And by “soon” I mean “as soon as I get a decent digital camera and a FireWire cable so I can dump my video footage onto my computer and edit it into something marginally watchable”. All will know when soon has come, for the trees will shake their branches like angry fists and proclaim, quite simply: “Our leaves have left us for a warmer climate. Send liquor and cigarettes, if you please.”

You see, even trees need to numb their pain sometimes.


  1. I can just about see it…the Governator quoting lyrics from “Oh You This” while tapdancing in a polka dot dress. “Licking yourself like a dog in heat! HNYAH! CALEEFAWNYA!” It would be life-altering stuff. By the way, what happened to your site? Did you just sort of lose interest in keeping up a website like I did with mine? I went to check yours out the other day to see how things were going musically, but had no luck.

    And Margaret — you don’t suck! You are the opposite of a person who sucks. I guess that would make you an anti-suction-sapien. Or something.

  2. Hey, Johnny, I’m glad you put that deluded blog back into his place. Otherwise it would just be a matter of time before we have terminator 3 on our hands, and nobody wants that!

  3. Hi Johnny, yeah my site is another relic of the days when I thought if I told enough people about my intention to do music, then I would find the time to do it. That wore thin after a while so I ditched it. I started a myspace but haven’t done anything to it yet. I’ll make sure to send you some mp3s when I record something!

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