After today, consider me famous.

I have just recorded the song that’s going to change my life.

Sometimes you can feel when something is going to be a hit. You know it’s going to speak to people and reach them on some deep, meaningful level. You can hear it being used in a car commercial, or even one of those iPod commercials with primary colours and dancing silhouettes.

You can see the video on MuchMusic. You can hear it on the radio sandwiched between the likes of the Black-Eyed Peas and Britney Spears. You can see scholars discussing its vast intricacies decades from now, trying to pinpoint what it is that makes the song so magical and universally appealing and compelling.

This is one of those songs. It may very well be the finest work I’ve ever done. I feel I’ve pushed past all the weirdness that was holding my music back and found that the only viable means of artistic expression through song is the banal, insipid musical love letter riddled with heart-scorching clichés. I’ve found the direction I must pursue for the rest of my life. And because I’m in a sharing mood, I’m going to put that song up here for all to be amazed by.

I realize I may be lessening the dramatic impact it will have when it’s released as a single, but I’m confident the hype generated by this track will ensure it burns up the charts one way or another. No more pointless, self-indulgent songs that try to say something new or express something real. This is the future. This is now. This tomorrow today. It’s time to jump on the bandwagon everyone else has been straddling.

Big time, here I come!

Every Slightly Angry Love Song Ever Written, in 42 Seconds or Less


  1. Lucas —

    It’s like a flower that was there the whole time, but I never realized how beautiful it was. I have a whole new musical purpose now.

    Bob —

    No! Not vomit! I better hurry up and record a Whitney Houston cover to dispel those unpleasant feelings.

    Travis —

    I do what I can. Not long ago, the music of Three Days Grace saved my life. I’m just trying to give a little back. It’s all about love.

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