today is a happy day, for several reasons.
reason # 1:
i have ink cartridge action. which means i can print cds again. which means i no longer have only limited copies of the new album to go around. which is good, because i dropped some off at phog on saturday, and by monday they were all gone. i know my stuff moves more quickly than it used to, but that’s just nuts. normally i’ll show up at phog a week after dropping off cds to find the little box is still at least a third of the way full. i guess there’s a market for free 2-cd sets after all.
reason # 2:
take a look at that picture up there. you can click on it for a larger and much more detailed view. on the left is a dude named mark, smoking what appear to be three joints at one time. on the right is yours truly, looking tired, or stoned, or deep in thought, or all of the above. chrisy (who i went to high school with, and who is in a long-term relationship with andrew, who was a member of guys with dicks for a while in 2001) has been posting some old pictures on facebook over the past few days, and i saw some of them were taken at gord’s old place on esdras, in the converted garage that served as his (and his brother cliff’s) headquarters for some time. i had a lot of adventures in that room during the papa ghostface and gwd days. i saw pictures of gord, tyson, cliff and others that looked to be from right around that time. all kinds of memories came flooding back. i wondered if there might be some pictures of me in there somewhere too. it bothers me a little, sometimes, that there’s so little video and photographic documentation of such an important and formative time in my musical life. turns out there’s at least one picture of me in chrisy’s treasure trove, and she was kind enough to scan it and send it my way.
my first thought, to my surprise, was: “hey…i wasn’t as bad-looking as i thought i was!” my hair was nowhere near as long as it is now, and i couldn’t grow any facial hair (something that frustrated me to no end), but i was a pretty cool-looking guy back then, if i’m allowed to say that about myself. i certainly didn’t feel that way at the time, but there you go. hindsight is a squirrel wearing way too much eyeliner. i’ve said this before. the picture was taken sometime in late 2001, right around the time of SUBLIMINAL BILE. i know this because of my appearance, the length of my hair, and because i loved that shirt and wore it as much as i could in the colder weather. i actually still have it. i even still have the t-shirt i’m wearing underneath in the picture, though it’s thinning out a bit in its old age. back then i was as tall as i am now (i guess somewhere around 6′ 3″…i haven’t been exactly sure of my height for some years now), but i weighed 145 pounds. for years it didn’t seem like i would ever really weigh any more than that.
i definitely don’t weigh 145 pounds anymore.
according to bmi measurements, i was a little underweight for a good few years there, but i don’t think i was ever unhealthily skinny. i ate like a horse most of the time. my metabolism just kept me on a very even keel. i used to hate tying my hair back, and wore it down like that everyday. now i tie it back all the time, and i have something you might call a beard. seeing that picture almost makes me think i should shave off my facial hair for the hell of it, but i’m not sure i could handle looking like i did when i was 18 again. might be a little too weird.
in any case, i really like that picture. it helps to fill in the gap in photographic documentation a little bit. i guess i wouldn’t have wanted a lot of pictures taken of me at the time anyway, since i thought i was a pretty hideous creature, but i’m glad chrisy snuck that one in.
reason # 3:
i am very nearly finished repackaging all the old cds i really want to make love to. did i really type that? i meant to type “repackage”. by the end of next week, i should have all the important ones finished. as mentioned before, i’m not planning on circulating many copies of these things, but if you’d like a box set full of about 30 cds of music no one has ever heard before, let me know and i’ll put one together for you. i can think of about half a dozen people offhand who might be interested in something like this, a few of whom i’ve already talked to about it. i don’t imagine it would extend far beyond that, but i guess you never know. just having a good chunk of the back catalogue finally looking like real cds is a really nice feeling. it wasn’t entirely inexpensive to do, and it took a bit of time to put it all together, but i feel like it’s been worth the effort. putting everything else aside, if i hadn’t messed around with trying to make my own cover art for old cds, i never would have figured out how to “draw” things the way i can now with the program i use to print cds, and i never would have been able to make the cover art for MY HELLHOUND CROOKED HEART. so it was worth it for that alone.
and then there’s album cover art like this, which just cracks me up:
reason # 4:
i realized (long after any point where it was possible to change anything) that there’s a bit of a black outline on one of my shoulders on the cover art for the new album. i meant to get rid of that before giving the files to minuteman press, but with putting the lyrics together and everything else, it slipped my mind. i forgot all about it until i noticed it again several days after the booklets had been printed and initial copies of the album had been circulated. normally this is the sort of thing that would drive me nuts, but i reacted immediately in a way i wasn’t even remotely expecting; instead of thinking, “shit! it’s a mistake! i must reprint the booklets and destroy every existing copy with that little line most other people won’t even notice!” i thought, “i’m actually glad it’s there.” see, it works as a metaphor for my whole way of doing things—if there’s a connecting tissue or a common thread running through all the music i’ve ever made, as stylistically disparate as some things are from one another, it’s the intentional lack of polish. i don’t ever want things to be perfect. i don’t ever want things to be sterile, or too polished, or too predictable. it’s important to me to leave mistakes in the music so the listener is reminded that this is music made by one human being. no using auto-tune on my voice to fix a wobbly note. no sound-replacing drums to make the snare and toms sound big-studio-slick. no chopping up pieces of different performances and taking the best bits to make one ideal performance that isn’t even a real performance, but a manufactured…thing. yes, i get better at a lot of things as i go, i have better equipment than i used to, and i put a bit more effort into making things sound good, but not so much that it takes me out of the act of making the music in the first place. things don’t need to be perfect. i think it would be boring if they were.
so i’m glad the little hint of an outline on my shoulder remains, though i meant to erase it. works nicely as unintentional symbolism.
i’m a little less glad that i misspelled the italian word for “toaster” in the booklet (i missed an s), but that’s a typo i can live with. better that than typing too quickly and accidentally misspelling “bliss” as “bilss”.
those are all the reasons i can think of right now, but i think they’re pretty good ones.
also, the box of cds at phog is full once again. i’ll be checking out the situation at dr. disc on the weekend, and if that box is empty, i’ll refill it too. if i have your address and i normally send you cds, you should be getting mail in the next week or two. music is a-flyin’.