Month: April 2011

the bigger the glasses, the smaller the eyes seem to be.

things have been a little less busy here on the blog lately, but i assure you i am as busy as ever. probably busier. still aiming for a may release for the next album. a whole lot of new songs have come pouring out recently, making for a fairly different album than what i thought i was going to end up with, but i think it’s going to be stronger for it. it’s also shaping up to be possibly the most cynical collection of songs i’ve put together in quite some time, with song titles like “emotional blackmail”, “stupid borderline love song i wrote for someone who didn’t deserve it”, and “she’s someone else’s problem now”. mmm…love.

something i thought was interesting — during the brief period of time when things were going my way in the romance department, i couldn’t write lyrics to save my life. i’ve mentioned before that, while musical ideas are always coming left and right, lyrics are a little more elusive and only appear when they want to. well, when i had a girlfriend (or something resembling a girlfriend) and all seemed to be going swimmingly, the words didn’t want to appear. at all. there was just nothing there. and when i had time to devote to music, i found myself not feeling all that compelled to use it. the drive seemed to be missing. so maybe i need to be a little bit cynical in order for this all to work the way it’s supposed to. or maybe my brief dry spell was more about what happens when you’re with someone who has no understanding of what you do, no desire to understand or be a part of it in any way, and they have a way of almost making you feel guilty for devoting time to something that doesn’t have to do with them. and maybe that guilt chips away at the creative impulses insidiously.

who can say in these troubled times?

whatever the case may be, the words are definitely coming now. just last night i found myself unexpectedly writing something that i think might be one of the better songs on the album, and it started with taking something nasty that was said about me, turning it on its head, and following that thread where it took me. it’s another one of those things where it sounds like a decent amount of craft went into it, but the song more or less wrote itself and it all came together in ten or fifteen minutes tops. it’s always fun when that happens.

this month’s video progress report should be along in a few days.

help is on its way, and all these stories sound the same.

this is another one of those times when i ask whoever reads this stuff to weigh in with an opinion.

as you may or may not know, i set myself the somewhat ridiculous goal of releasing four full-length albums this year (it would have been easy enough a decade ago when i didn’t care one bit about anything resembling professionalism or craft; it’s a bit of a different story these days), and i’m working on #2 right now. i had hoped to have it completed and ready for public consumption by the end of this month, but it turns out there’s a bit more work to do than i thought there was. coming up with new material on a regular basis will cause that to happen, it seems, and because of that any album i make is continuously shifting and changing shape up until the very last second.

so a may release is looking a little more realistic right now. if i really wanted to go crazy, i could probably get it out there right at the very end of april, but i don’t like to rush things.

i thought i already had the album cover art figured out, until i thought of something else and wasn’t so sure anymore. this happens to me roughly every second or third album, i think. and here’s where any feedback anyone might have becomes useful. up until yesterday, i was pretty set on using this polaroid picture i took of myself. don’t ask me how i managed to get the framing just right…almost every subsequent attempt i’ve made at the polaroid self-portrait has failed pretty miserably, resulting in me wasting a handful of exposures and then swearing after remembering that the film for this camera is a little expensive and difficult to come by. the important thing is, this one turned out.  i like how i look kind of miserable and angular, though i assure you i was neither one of those things when i snapped this picture of myself. well…maybe i was a little bit angular. but that’s as far as it went.

as i said, i had pretty much settled on that. but then i came across this picture i forgot about (not taken by me) from a little while back. and i kind of like it as a hypothetical album cover as well. the background will probably be white instead of grey, but white wouldn’t show up too well here, for obvious reasons.

what do you think? i think i’m now leaning toward number two there with sideways johnny, though there’s also something i still like about the first image. while i was going to have my friend lauren draw or paint me something for album art (and i’m still very much interested in having that happen), for some reason i feel like my face needs to appear on this one. every time my face has shown up on one of my album covers over the past 8 years, it tends to be obscured in some way…either in shadow, or — in the case of MY HELLHOUND CROOKED HEART — in computer-animated form. i don’t know why, but i feel like it’s about time i showed up on an album cover looking like myself, free of manipulation or intentional obfuscation.

because it’s a breakup album! only not at all. a few breakup songs do not a breakup album make. but they’re really fun breakup songs, let me tell you. i think you’ll especially enjoy the one i like to call “i’m not your dirty little secret anymore”. it’s the catchiest piece of bile i’ve given birth to since the angry album with the wooden gun on the cover. in other words, it’s sure to make you swoon. and if that doesn’t make you swoon, surely the lack of a long-winded album title will do it.

EDIT: i’ve been playing around with that second picture, and now i’m really liking this arrangement right here:

pornography, as you’ve never seen it before.

THIS is what happens when someone with a rudimentary computer paint program decides to take a bunch of pornographic images and make them safe for the workplace (and virgin eyes). i’m a little sad i didn’t think of it myself. some of the images are so ridiculous, i ended up spitting my invisible soda all over the computer screen. the video at the top of the page just about killed me.

you can thank me later.

elsewhere, MEDIUM-FI MUSIC… is on the CJAM charts yet again this week. i better get moving on the next album before people get tired of this one…

anime and me.

this really has nothing at all to do with music, but hey…sometimes it’s fun to write about things other than the usual “i recorded this song about sticking my big toe in the toaster and waking up in mexico, and it’s got a killer woodblock solo in it”.

for years, i thought anime was a bit of a joke. shows like sailor moon and pokemon were all i knew of the artform (my sisters would watch the english dubbed versions on tv before we went off to school in the morning), and i found it all pretty lame and cheesy. i assumed that was pretty much as far as it went — hyperactive kids shows with voices that didn’t really seem to fit the material.

one night, about five years ago, i was channel-surfing and came across a commercial on the independent film channel (or IFC, for all of you digital cable purveyors) advertising some sort of anime week. this didn’t look like kids stuff at all. i’d never seen anything like it. over the next few days i watched a few little pieces of the cowboy bebop movie (i couldn’t really get into it without the context of the actual series under my belt) and ghost in the shell, and though the english dubbing still didn’t feel quite right to me, i was more than a little interested in learning more.

i did some research on the internet and discovered there was this whole other world of what i’ll call “adult anime”, a universe and-a-half removed from the likes of sailor moon. i promptly ordered a bunch of DVDs, because when i’m interested in something, i tend to jump right in without bothering to test the water first. it’s a good way to drown. you see some interesting things on your way down.

for what it’s worth, i should also pause to note that i was still smoking pot back then. i was never really a proper pothead, but by now it was something i enjoyed doing on the weekends instead of going out drinking, and i was enjoying my self-imposed exile from having a social life. staying in, lighting up the pipe, and watching an old werner herzog movie or listening to music turned out to be a lot more fun than going downtown, drinking enough to kill a medium-sized animal, and trying to dull the contempt i had for people who said they were my friends only to abuse that friendship when it suited them. and there was no hangover the next day! what a twist.

anyway.

i started digging into these DVDs. the first thing i watched was ghost in the shell. it just about blew my brain apart. at the very least, my brain did back-flips.

i liked the way the animation opened things up and allowed for imagery that would never be possible with live action, while also tapping into a kind of heightened emotional realism. i liked that the main character was female, and she was tougher and more complex than anyone else in the film. i liked that the story was complicated and forced me to use my brain to figure out what was going on.

watching it with subtitles and the original japanese voice acting made a world of difference. this was serious stuff. this was a real movie with real ideas. it just happened to be animated.

right off the bat i seemed to gravitate toward the dark, weird stuff. perfect blue was a lot of fun, kind of like a cross between david lynch and alfred hitchcock, filtered through the brilliant brain of satoshi kon (who sadly passed away not long ago). it seemed fitting somehow that after watching that movie, i went on to have a dream in which psychotic croutons (yes — the kind you put on a salad) were devouring any plant life they came across. there was some concern that they might behave the same way around people, so i ran around a large park closing a bunch of medieval-looking gates in an effort to prevent them from spreading.

i thought i’d eat a few of the croutons while i was at it, and they were surprisingly tasty for crunchy pieces of deadly seasoned bread. for some reason i didn’t suffer any adverse effects. later, i was playing basketball while wearing a santa claus suit, and one of the other guys shooting hoops got in my face because i wasn’t the real santa claus. so i started beating the shit out of him.

and that wasn’t even the strangest dream i had that night.

some things i liked more than others. i enjoyed the original OVA version of vampire princess miyu, and the original version of vampire hunter D had a certain creepy/campy charm to it, but neither one of them hit me nearly as hard as jin-roh: the wolf brigade. what can i say? i guess i like my anime dark and depressing, with a cynical/fatalistic edge to it.

i found myself getting similarly sucked into serial experiments: lain, to the point that it too influenced my dreams for a while. i also delved more deeply into japanese film in general, discovering the work of people like takeshi kitano (who’s made at least three films that i would put up there in the pantheon of the best cinematic work by anyone i’ve ever experienced), shinya tsukamoto, and takashi miike.

but the big pivotal game-changing moment for me was when i sat down and decided to start watching cowboy bebop. by this time, marijuana and i were no longer friends, and we never would be again — for reasons far too convoluted to get into here. i digress. i’d read a lot about how bebop was widely considered to be one the best things ever to come out of the field of anime, and something of a gateway drug, in much the same way the miles davis album kind of blue is considered a good point of entry for people who are new to jazz.

in my case the cliché proved to be true with miles, but not with cowboy bebop. i waited until i had absorbed several other anime titles before getting around to this one, in part because i accidentally read a gigantic spoiler on a message board that no one bothered to tag with any sort of warning, and i felt that might take some of the enjoyment out of the show for me. it wasn’t the sort of thing you’re lucky enough to forget, no matter how much time passes. they don’t call them spoilers for nothing.

eventually i decided i might as well watch the show anyway, even though i already knew how it would end, just to see if it really was that good.

and it really was that good. i ended up burning my way through all 26 sessions (or “episodes” if you prefer) and the movie in less than a week. i wanted to space it out, but i couldn’t help myself. it was similar to what would end up happening a few years down the road when i got sucked into the wire.

this was like some sort of animated nirvana for me. yoko kanno’s music was part of it (her soundtrack has to be some of the best music any series/film has ever been lucky enough to call its own, ranging from jazz to folk, blues, strangely alluring ballads, and all sorts of weird crevices in-between, somehow always feeling like it belongs, practically becoming another character), but every element came together to create a world that felt real. i found myself caring about animated characters as if they were actual people. when i reached the end, i felt a little empty, and the ending still hit me like a gut-punch even though i knew what was coming.

i think i watched the two-part ending of bebop six times in a row. i’d invested so much in the story, i really didn’t want it to be over.

i also watched the whole thing in japanese with subtitles, and i now know i couldn’t have done it any other way. all kinds of arguments rage on the internet on the “sub vs. dub” topic. my position is simple: i will always choose to watch a film or series in its original language. always. i understand the argument that reading subtitles makes it a little more difficult to fully enjoy the animation (or, in the case of live action films, the cinematography), but once you’ve watched enough foreign films, it gets to the point where you don’t even feel like you’re reading anything anymore, so fully has your brain adapted to compensate for the extra work you need to do. that’s what’s happened in my case, anyway.

cowboy bebop does have one of the better english dubs out there. the voice acting isn’t wince-inducing like it is in, say, the english dubbed version of akira. still, it doesn’t have nearly the same emotional impact for me. maybe it’s because i stuck with the japanese soundtrack my first time through, and maybe i’m biased because i’m fascinated by japanese culture and love the sound of the language, but i’m not so sure. i think the creator of any cinematic work has an innate understanding of what they’re trying to say that will always surpass any subsequent attempt at reinterpreting the material, no matter how well-executed it is.

this is part of the reason i feel remakes of foreign films are almost always little more than chunks of warmed-over shit that fail to ever justify their existence. compare wim wenders’ wings of desire, which is a poem on film, to the dire hollywood bastardization renamed city of angels (nicolas cage screams! meg ryan has sex! dennis franz gets naked!), and you’ll see exactly what i mean.

or, in cowboy bebop, there’s a scene in the very last session/episode where two main characters are sitting down to talk for what they know will be the last time. one of them tells a story that sounds like some sort of japanese parable, and in a sly way it’s a comment on what he’s been through and the action he’s decided to take. the japanese voice actor imbues the words with a gentle sadness that adds a great deal of poignancy to the scene.

as an experiment, right after watching that scene i went back and turned on the english soundtrack instead. then i watched it a second time. the english voice actor, as good as he was at nailing the “i don’t give a shit” attitude that sometimes was just right for the character, didn’t seem to have any other notes to sound. it came off like he was amused by the story without feeling any deeper connection to it, and that changed the meaning of the whole scene. the spell was broken. it just didn’t work for me.

but arguments for or against dubbing are kind of beside the point. the main thing is, watching bebop was sort of a “eureka!” moment for me, and one of those great experiences where a piece of art takes you places and makes you feel things nothing else has before. some people feel it’s overrated, and i’ve only ever known one anime fan who felt the same kind of connection with it i do, but for me it’s become the benchmark by which all the rest are judged. so far, nothing has managed to surpass it.

when i went back and watched the whole thing for a second time last summer, i think i enjoyed it even more than i had the first time around. i even picked up on some subtleties i think i missed initially. i really hope the planned live action remake never happens. the thought of keanu reeves as spike makes me want to swallow my own tongue and lick my brain until i pass out from liquid pain.

why can’t those hollywood leeches just leave the good stuff alone? accept that you’ve been creatively bankrupt for years now, admit that your remakes are pathetic and repugnant, and take the advice the late great bill hicks gave to people who work in marketing — kill yourselves.

in terms of standalone anime films that i’ve seen, one stands out by a proverbial mile here as well — mamoru oshii’s angel’s egg. one of the things i enjoy about anime in general is that, unlike most modern american animated films, computer-generated imagery is not the be-all and end-all. a lot of anime is still largely drawn by hand, and this particular film is entirely hand-drawn, with not a single computer-enhanced frame anywhere. the craftsmanship involved is kind of astonishing.

the film itself is strange, surreal, and existential. it’s almost silent (there’s maybe a total of 5 minutes of dialogue through the whole thing), which just makes the details in the animation stand out that much more. the story really only involves two characters, one of whom is a young girl protecting a large egg while inhabiting a desolate, decaying city. the ultimate meaning of the film is left for the viewer to interpret. character designer/main animator yoshitaka amano once said that he felt it was a very personal film grappling symbolically with oshii’s loss of faith in christianity.

whatever it means, i’ve never seen anything else quite like it. it’s art in the purest sense, and the ending is incredibly powerful, whether you know what it means or not. i’m still not sure i “get” it, but i feel it, if that makes sense.

there are a lot of things i haven’t got around to watching that are still sitting on the shelf…things like FLCL, elfen lied, whisper of the heart, mindgame, spirited away, and others i’ve read about but have yet to pick up. i’ve been meaning to watch grave of the fireflies for years now, but i’ve heard it’s one movie that will reduce even the most hardened viewer to a sobbing wreck, and i’m not sure i’m quite ready for that yet. someday.

if it wasn’t for that little commercial i happened to catch one day on IFC back in 2006, i may very well have never seen any of these things, and i might never have discovered just how much creative and far-ranging work has been done within the realm of anime. so hooray for happy accidents.

sing it out.

i think most people realized pretty quickly that my last post was completely tongue-in-cheek, but just to be clear — it was an april fool’s day joke. i have no plans to stop making music anytime soon, and i fully intend to have a new album to share in the next month or so. i just felt like doing something silly in recognition of a silly day.

the box of cds at dr. disc is healthy again. i threw in some copies of CREATIVE NIGHTMARES, which was technically “out of print” for a little while there. it’s a little light on copies of CHICKEN ANGEL WOMAN right now…have to get more of the inserts made up with the “reissued” booklets.

also, you know how i said i was thinking about taking the offer to play at the shores of erie wine festival? well, now it’s official. on sunday september 11, from 1:30 to 2:30 in the afternoon, there i will be. brace yourselves.

a gift for you.

well, it’s time for me to pack it in. i’ve made a lot of music over the years, warped a few minds, touched a few hearts…but the thrill is gone, and i have nothing left to say. best to quit while you’re ahead. so i’m officially retiring from making music. what’s next for me, you ask? i think i might chop off my hair, shave off the beard, and get a job at tim hortons.

in parting, i decided to do something special for some of the people who might be interested in checking out my music, but are a little overwhelmed by how many cds there are and don’t feel like digging into the original albums; i’ve compiled the very best work i’ve ever done, and boiled it down to one fat-free cd. i’ve also come around to the realization that digital distribution is the wave of the future, so it’s a digital-only release in mp3 form, and you have to pay $35 if you want an actual hard copy that doesn’t sound like donkey balls. here’s the artwork and tracklist:

CLICK HERE to download the free mp3s, and thanks for the memories.