A bite’s as good as a kiss to a complacent cat.

ANGLE OF BEST DISTANCE update —

Number of songs finished/mixed/mastered/album-ready: fifty-five.

Number of songs only in need of some minor tweaking (like a slight remix or remastering): thirty-four.

Number of songs that have been recorded but still need some significant work: thirty-three.

Number of songs that have yet to be recorded: seventy-six.

Those figures don’t take into consideration a large group of songs I’ve decided are probably not going to make the cut, new songs I’m saving for something else, or songs/sketches meant for this album but now perhaps not worthy of inclusion.

What can you take away from all that? Three things, I think.

(1) I’ve technically passed the halfway mark, even though the second disc hasn’t quite been finalized yet, because there’s no way I’ll be able to squeeze a hundred songs onto the album, even spread out over four CDs. And I’ve already got more than half that amount in the bank, as they say.

(2) There’s a ridiculous amount of material to work with, and now it really comes down to what feels the strongest and most worthy of getting on the album, especially when it comes to figuring out which of those unrecorded songs to take a stab at (recording all of them is out of the question, unless I want to obliterate my goal of having this thing finished by the summer).

(3) Another misfits compilation might not be so far away.

About that hypothetical misfits collection — when I do sit down to put it together, it’s going to be a much tighter, more consistent affair than the first one. Part of that comes down to drawing from a shorter period of time. Volume one reached from 1999 to 2007. As it sits now, volume two would cover 2007 to 2012. But a larger part of it is the desire to be a little more selective. While I’m all for being exhaustive when it comes to these kinds of things, there’s a fair amount of stuff on the existing misfits collection that’s only there in the interest of being thorough, and not because it’s especially good or illuminating.

I think for the second go-round I’ll stick to the out-takes and cast-offs that feel most worthy of being heard, and only include sketches where they really add something interesting. And I think I’ll be going with the chronological approach to sequencing as well if it flows alright. That would never, ever work with ANGLE, just because of how many songs there are, but when it comes to compilations I do like the idea of setting it up so it’s easy to chart how things have progressed over time.

What else? I was lucky enough to see a new music video by some piece of shit pop band in which the lead singer would rather play video games than acknowledge his girlfriend, and he flirts with scores of other women at a party while posting pictures and videos online for the world to see. Yet, somehow, the girlfriend is spun into being the villain when she finally snaps at him for being a pathetic piece of shit who won’t even wash his own clothes. She doesn’t even do anything that terrible. She just tries to make him jealous in an attempt at getting him to pay some small amount of attention to her. The video would have us believe it’s just proof she’s a psycho bitch and he’s super cool.

We’re looking for a word here, and the word is misogyny.

How much do you want to bet the guys in this band don’t even know how to spell that word?

In my imaginary director’s cut of the video, the girl starts her own band and writes a song called “I Dated a Walking Cliché with a Micropenis”, humiliating her asshat of an ex-manchild to the point that he castrates himself in shame. Now that’s what I call a happy ending.

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