Smile, egghead.

Exciting music news!

Esthero’s new music video teaches us about the coolness of drunk parenting! I now know it’s okay to drink straight liquor in the middle of the day and neglect your child while she plays with knives, just as long as you’re well-dressed! Yeah!

Avril Lavigne and the Paddle Pop Lion (aka Chad Kroeger) are engaged to be married!

Carly Rae Jepsen, after demonstrating something approaching talent in her audition for Canadian Idol, is now building a career out of recording and performing teenybopper pablum with the emotional maturity of an infant’s explosive diarrhea!

That K’naan song I crapped all over in my last post still blows goats!

Exclamation points make everything sound exciting!

As for me, I have decided to warp my facial hair-growing goal a little. My initial plan was to see if i could go the whole year without trimming my beard in any meaningful way, aside from snipping the odd derelict hair that gets in my mouth when I’m trying to eat. So far, so good.

But why not spice it up a little, and instead of aiming for a year-end trimming extravaganza, make the cut-off point the day I have THE ANGLE OF BEST DISTANCE finished and packaged? It’ll probably be close enough to the end of the year that it won’t make much difference anyway.

If I really wanted to live dangerously, I would shave the whole thing off in recognition of the momentous occasion. But that would be going too far. I think a good trim is enough.

More news on that album soon. I’ve written some recent songs about heart-warming things like Satan welcoming a son into the world and killing yourself to get away from someone you really dislike. I aim to put up a video of the recording of one such new thing sometime in the next week or so. I mean it this time.

What else? I got older this month. I’ve only got one year left now to make my masterpiece, whatever that may be. Robert Smith of The Cure wrote and recorded Disintegration when he was twenty-nine, convinced most artists had done their best work before turning thirty. Hey, it worked for him…

On another note, there’s some good tennis being played right now in the early stages of the US Open — especially on the women’s side. I could have done without seeing the dude from LMFAO in the audience the other night, though.


  1. Ha! I could get sportscasters to weigh in on the process.

    “West is really hurting right now…you can tell that last two seconds of work with the scissors really took something out of him. I’m not sure how much he has left in the tank.”

    “OH! Look at that wrist angle! SENSATIONAL!”

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