it’s that time again — the day before half-price chocolate day!

if you have an aversion to strong profanity, you might be better off not scrolling down to look at the following image. matter of fact, you might be better off not reading this post at all. but because it’s valentine’s day, i couldn’t help myself. plus, this pseudo e-card just cracked me up. had i a significant other with a suitably twisted sense of humour, i would probably send it to her.

a valentine's day card

to that end, for someone who isn’t a big fan of love songs, it turns out i’ve written a fair amount of songs at least mentioning that four letter word. here are some relevant lyrics of mine i’ve assembled, for your reading pleasure.

“love is not kind; it’s a pile of shit you set on fire. but if you can get past the stench, there’s a beauty there you cannot deny.
— from handfasting (unreleased)

“love is an underage stethoscope you keep in your ice skates for show.”
— from peculiar love (THE CHICKEN ANGEL WOMAN WITH A TRIANGLE)

“last night you gave birth to a whale. it was a stunning thing to witness. when you cooed and touched his shiny skin, we knew it was something approaching love at first sight.”
— from kamikaze daybreak (CREATIVE NIGHTMARES)

“love is an answering machine that eats all my messages, but it’s just so cute in the way it goes about it.”
— from emotional blackmail (GIFT FOR A SPIDER)

“i love you so much, i just can’t stand it, even though you treat me like shit, shit, shit.”
— from ring around me (SUBLIMINAL BILE)

“love is like a dandelion on its deathbed.”
— from love’s like that (HORSEMOUTH & OTHER BEDTIME STORIES)

love me, love me, you say. hold me, hold me in your arms. love me, love me, you say. never do me any harm. but i can’t make you any promises.”
— from promises (OUT-TAKES, MISFITS & OTHER THINGS)

“love turns us all into idiots — the rabid, scowling, clawing kind. we cling to the scentless artifice, like disembodied soldier fish.”
— from judas goat (NOSTALGIA-TRIGGERING MECHANISM EP)

“don’t fall in love with somebody who won’t love you back. don’t fall at all; turn around, take two steps to your left.”
— from in a dream i told you this
(WHO YOU ARE NOW IS NOT WHAT YOU WERE BEFORE)

“i know all your love is taken…but you’ve got something better squirreled away.”
— from getting into character (IF I HAD A QUARTER…)

“this is your decrepit house. your love makes it cry. the tears fall in your mouth. it’s just like licking metal.”
— from people are starting to move in there (GROWING SIDEWAYS)

“the filth of your love engulfs me.”
— from filth of your love (PAPER CHEST HAIR)

“my love has eyes like razors that bleed into my skull.”
— from filler (TEMPORARY AMNESIA)

“it seems like you love everyone, in varying amounts, at different times, when convenience allows.”
— from you will never (OH YOU THIS)

“distance has made a mockery of our love. so have i.”
— from everything matters, everyone cares
(MEDIUM-FI MUSIC FOR MENTALLY UNSTABLE YOUNG LOVERS)

“love is something i killed when it kept me up all night.”
— from defenestrate your heart (AN ABSENCE OF SWAY)

“there’s no such thing as love; just misplaced pity, and indigestion, and improper inflection.”
— from i’m optimistic (GIFT FOR A SPIDER)

if you ever needed proof that i’m a hopeless romantic, well…there it is. and here’s the ultimate valentine’s day song, from master harry.

4 comments

    1. same to you, papa lucas! there are a lot more twisted love-related lyrics, and some lines where there’s “lovers” or “loves” or something, but i wanted to stick with only exact iterations of “love”, because i’m odd like that.

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