I howl at the moon and rage against the light that’s left.

Another year is about to disappear.

I want to say 2017 wasn’t very productive. I failed to hit almost every goal I set at the beginning of the year. YEAR OF THE SLEEPWALK still isn’t finished. Neither is the followup to STEW. THE ANGLE OF BEST DISTANCE is still suspended in cryogenic stasis. The second misfits compilation remains little more than a rough outline.

But I did remaster all eight of the albums I wanted to take another crack at. That was a huge job. Ron’s album matured a little more, and after we get down the bed tracks for another song or two I’ll be able to concentrate on arranging and dressing things up. Jess’s album — a surprise development late in the year — was recorded in a day. All I need to do is finish mixing it. And in the waning weeks of December I managed to record thirteen more songs for SLEEPWALK.

You might think having to coordinate schedules with so many different contributors would be one of the reasons behind that last one taking so long. There’s only been one real culprit, though: crummy time-management and a lack of motivation on my end.

I guess that’s two culprits. Or a single culprit with a very vocal imaginary friend.

When the only music I had to work on was my own, I had a very clear sense of purpose. It never took me more than a few months to finish an album. Things are different now. With a few serious collaborative projects on the go and semi-steady work recording other people, there’s less time to focus on solo work. Prioritizing a recording someone else wants or needs to get out in the world within a certain timeframe is something to feel good about, I think, but my own stuff has been getting pushed to the side too often over the last little while. When I do have time to focus on it, the energy doesn’t seem to be there. In the back of my head I’m always thinking, “There are all these other things that need my attention, and there’s so much work I still need to do on this album of mine, I don’t even know where to dive in.” I end up psyching myself out before I get started.

I’m not complaining. I wouldn’t trade the friends I’ve made and the musical experiences I’ve had over the last few years for anything. It’s just been a bit of an adjustment trying to find space for everything, and I haven’t been doing a great job of setting aside enough time for the music that’s mine alone.

Giving that old whiteboard a new lease on life was a psychological step in the right direction. The work I was able to get done right as the year was slipping away was a much more significant leap. It felt good to ignore everything else for a week or two and pack in some much-needed musical Me Time. I know there are other things I have to work on, and I’ll give them the attention they need, but I think I’m in the right headspace now to make my ambitious solo album with many guests a priority again. If for no other reason, I need to get it finished while it still feels like it’s relevant to where I am right now.

It hasn’t been a small undertaking. There’s the supporting cast, which now amounts to twenty-six singers/musicians and thirteen visual artists. And as it stands right now, there have been eighty-four songs recorded just for this specific album. When I worked that out and saw it on paper, my brain did a backflip, a cartwheel, and something too distressing to describe. Some songs are finished, mixed, and CD-ready. Some still need some work. There are a few more things I need to record, and then it’ll be time to start looking at how I’m going to carve an album out of all of this.

There’s no way it’s going to be a single-disc affair, no matter how judicious I get and how many things end up on the cutting room floor. We’re probably looking at somewhere around fifty songs spread out over two discs. That’s assuming I can get everything to fit on two CDs. If not, I’ll make it a triple CD and live with the inevitable accusations of “self-indulgence” and “raspberry-scented binocular hoarding”.

Bite-sized musical statements have never been my thing anyway. You need a whole seventeen-course meal that leaves you so full you start hallucinating and singing made-up show tunes to strangers. Otherwise what’s the point?

I seem to shoot myself in the foot — and the face, and the ankle, and the armpit — every time I make any kind of list outlining what I’d like to accomplish in the coming year. In the interest of avoiding being riddled with proverbial bullets again, this time I’ll just say I have a feeling 2018 is going to be interesting, and I hope to bring a few long-gestating projects to fruition within the confines of its vast yearliness.

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